What do you do when there are so many thoughts in your head that you can’t make out what is what? Am I angry at you? Or am I angry at my parents for fighting all the time? Am I missing you? Or am I am missing feeling my heart flutter every time you said my name? Am I sad that I saw someone dear to me break down last night? Am I feeling the second hand heartbreak that happens when you witness something like that? Am I aching for your side of the bed to be filled? Am I craving touch, passion, pleasure? Is it that all my questions for you will go unanswered? Or is that I simply cannot deal with the notion that your mind is now filled with her name, her body, her scent, her touch? Do I just want to be anything but alone? Or do I want someone to crave me as much as I crave them? Am I confused by my family’s actions? Am I tired of mentally fighting the path set out for a white girl like me?

Am I missing you? Are you even missing me?

Revenge Of The Lawn

“He believed that he was six years old and it was a cloudy day about to rain and his mother was baking a chocolate cake. It stayed May 3, 1872 for my grandfather until he died in 1930. It took seventeen years for that chocolate cake to be baked.”

Who Am I?

I’m afloat in the ocean, trying not to sink. I’m a crack in the asphalt you walk by on the street. I’m a falling star you’ll never see, the lash in your eye, the ‘i’ in team. So, who am I? I’m the lesson you’ll never learn, the sickness that was never your concern. I’m the big surprise at the end of the night. The bridge in the gap. The corner of your mind. So, who am I? I am the knot in your stomach, the phlegm in your throat, the message saying you’re not home. I’m afloat in the ocean, trying not to sink.

Here, I’m still waiting here, right here, for one kiss from you.

 

Another Sad Song

Don’t cry
We all make mistakes from time to time
Unfortunately for me
Being me, was mine.

I’d give the world to you and I mean it. But only if you give me the sky. So I can watch over you all day and keeps the clouds away.

Grand Unification, Part 2

“Well, the Einstein equations are sort of the Mount Everest of theoretical physics and – you know – we want to get to the top; we want to be able to make Einstein’s equations routine to solve. We would like to have undergraduates be alive to solve Einstein’s equations routinely. Might as well have grade school kids doing it because – you know – the physics is intuitive. Grade school kids know about Black Holes and they might want to know: “Well, gosh, what happens if I drop a Black Hole in a Black Hole?”"

I remembered that you wore my jacket once.
I washed it.

I know it’s been washed between then and now,
but the thought of you
being as close as warmth
isn’t comfortable